In a recent discussion with an executive, the topic turned to prioritization. Not the ability to prioritize work deliverables, with which she had no issue. The prioritization related to her tendency to place others’ needs ahead of her own, particularly in social and family situations.

After some reflection it became apparent that the executive viewed others as being unable to cope if she didn’t support them. Some of the situations seemed very trivial, such as agreeing to go to lunch or dinner when she had already promised to herself that she would spend time with her children. Would her friend be unable to cope with not going to dinner?

Some time back a colleague was reading excerpts from a report on different cultures. One of the interesting findings regarded the outlook of young Singaporeans. It shared that although they enjoyed a wealth of career opportunities, many felt burdened by the prospect of multiple options. They worried about making a decision and they worried in case they made the wrong decision.

This concern over having options and making the right choice is not limited to a specific culture or group of cultures. 

In the ice-cream shop a few weeks back I was faced with a momentous decision. Which of the 24 flavours of ice-cream would I choose? Added to that was the additional problem of which topping to pick. That decision took a ridiculously long time – I treated it as a very important choice. And a friend who was with me suffered the same indecisive fate. 

I asked her how it was that she could decide to start her own business with greater ease than she could choose an ice-cream flavour.

A client spoke one day about his desire to understand his legacy. This prompted me to ponder the apparent growing importance of legacy and the emphasis we place on ensuring we are remembered positively. Legacy no longer relates solely to how we are remembered once we have departed this world. There seems to be an increasing focus on the legacy we leave behind in the here and now, particularly when we move to a new role or leave an organization. We look back and seek to understand not only what we created, but at how we are remembered in that role or organization.

The first coaching course I took was Peter Reding’s Coach for Life. One of the many powerful questions he asked was, ‘’what serves you best”? On initial hearing, it seemed a strange question as it could be interpreted as an appeal to selfish instincts. But on deeper consideration, rare is the person who interprets that question in a selfish manner.

Asking, “what serves you best” offers an opportunity to assess all that is important to you in life and regarding the situation you face.

Working through some behavioural preferences in a team recently, it became apparent that competition was not considered a constructive behaviour in the workplace. This prompted some discussion and thought, with the final analysis being, it depends on how the competitive behaviour is channelled.

Whilst running a session on boardroom dynamics recently and discussing the role of emotions in facilitating effective team work, one participant questioned whether anger is an effective emotion to exhibit.

Good question. Whilst a display of anger can no doubt be effective, to me, it depends on what you are trying to achieve in the situation and the long-term impact of that anger – on you and others.