Saying Yes
/Just as sometimes we have difficulty saying no to something we don’t want to do, we also at times hold back from saying yes to something we want. This, according to research, is more prevalent among women than men – especially when it comes to promotions. I was reminded of this a few weeks back when a woman leader in an organization approached me following a workshop. She wanted to know whether she had made the right decision to say yes to a new role and a promotion.
She had accepted the role but was still concerned whether it was the right decision. She wasn’t sure if she could actually perform in that role and she was concerned about the effect the longer commute might have on her school-age daughter. Whilst she was looking for positive reinforcement regarding her decision, I couldn’t give that. Instead, I asked her a few questions:
Is there a reason you are concerned for your child’s well-being? For example, is your child currently not doing well? No.
Do you have a strong support structure for your daughter and yourself? Yes
Is this an exciting opportunity for you? Yes.
Are you open to the possibility that the new role might go well and it might not go well? Yes.
Will you have options if you are not comfortable in the role? Yes.
Do such roles arise often within your organization? No.
When you think about the new role, are you excited or not? Excited.
Is there any grounds for thinking you cannot perform in this role? No.
(Tongue-in-cheek). Does the organization often offer roles to people they think can’t do the job? No
So where does that leave you?
Thinking about this interaction, I was pleased that the woman leader had not hesitated to accept the promotion and new role. Still, I was concerned about the common self-doubt that creeps up on women and the questions that fuel this self-doubt – Will I be able to do this? Do I deserve this?
The simple conclusion is, if you want to do something, then do it. Put your whole self into it, without undermining your effort with self-criticism or self-doubt.
Whatever happens, you will learn from the experience. And there are always options.