Years ago I was working on a long-term learning engagement when a colleague shared a deck of ‘experience’ cards. They were cards from the Centre for Creative Leadership, stating experiences that supported your growth as a leader.

The card that caused the most engagement was: Have you ever had a bad boss?

Smiles came to the faces of people who had lived through that – and frowns to the faces of people who were currently experiencing the infuriating impact of a bad boss.

Those smiling had gained the distance and the insight to appreciate the learning from the experience.

Those still living it were reminded of the pain.

Whilst I was one of those smiling, I wish I’d had the wisdom to appreciate the learning much sooner.

During the bad boss days, I spent a lot of the time complaining and expending significant amounts of energy bemoaning my fate. I regularly ruminated on the gap between my expectations and my view of reality.

When I detached myself from the perception and found ways to engage with a different reality – working with other senior stakeholders and creating opportunities to immerse myself on other projects – I could begin to appreciate the learnings.

Because there are always learnings. And with a bad boss, clearly, it’s how not to do things.

It can be helpful to tune into the dismay, annoyance, anxiety, dejection – the whole range of emotions that you experienced at the time and ponder what caused those feelings. And remind yourself daily to avoid replicating those behaviours.

Depending on your values, beliefs and traits, what you consider ‘bad’ may differ, but some typical bugbears include:

Claiming credit or withholding credit for work others did, vaguely communicating a deliverable and then scolding the deliverer for a job poorly done, hogging the limelight and talking over team members, belittling alternative points of view, criticising without outlining a constructive road forward, or adding spurious ‘value’ to a job already well-done simply because praise isn’t something they do….

You probably could add many more.

I’m currently re-reading Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs. And I’m reminded of how intensely infuriating, unreasonable and bullying Jobs could be. His HR head would remind him that it wasn’t helpful to behave that way, and he’d reply, ‘I know, I know, I know.’

This caused me to consider the impact of vision and purpose on whether we consider someone a ‘bad boss’ or not. And whether we can tolerate, excuse or overlook the behaviour because it’s motivated by a bigger picture that motivates us.

I’m not excusing Job’s behaviour, but for those people who were inspired to achieve more under Job’s leadership, I’m simply wondering if they tuned into the purpose and overlooked the less-than-uplifting behaviour that accompanied it.

That still leaves us with the bad bosses who lack the visionary, purpose-driven leadership – or indeed other qualities that inspire us.

And with those, perhaps one of the most helpful immediate actions you can take for your continued growth is to keep noting: Here’s what I learned not to do today.