I’ve been away for a week in a pretty intense learning programme.

I was wondering if anyone missed me.

Discussing this with a colleague, she triumphantly exclaimed that in her absence, her team was firing on all cylinders. She was glad they were operating independently – taking good decisions and moving ahead confidently.

This prompted me to wonder how other leaders feel when away from their teams.

Whether they are proud of having set their teams up to perform well without them, but whether, on some level, they would also like to feel missed by their team.

So when is it good to be missed – and when not?

When It’s Good to be Missed

For Your Presence, Not Your Permission

If your team misses the energy, clarity or your trust, that can be a positive. They don’t need you to function—but they value how you make them feel while they do.

When You’re the Cultural Glue

Being missed because you set the tone for the team or live and reinforce core values are signs you’re a stabilizer in the team’s emotional climate.

Because You Inspire, Not Instruct

If your team misses your perspective or how you ask good questions, rather than feeling dependent on your answers, you know you are setting your team up to act with autonomy.

Thanks to Your Quiet Confidence

You’re missed not because you micromanage but because your calm confidence gives others permission to trust themselves.

When It’s Not Good to Be Missed

You’re the Bottleneck, Not the Backbone

If projects stall or decisions freeze in your absence, it’s not because people admire you, it’s because you’ve created a structure and systems of dependence.

People Lack Control

Being missed because people feel unsure or afraid to act without your greenlight means you are thwarting your team’s sense of empowerment and efficacy.

You’re the Single Point of Failure

If you’re the only one who knows where things are or how things work, your absence reveals fragility and sets you and your team up for failure.

People Are On Pause Without You

If collaboration or momentum slows just because you’re not in the room or away from the office, it may mean people are performing for you, not with each other.

In his book ‘Good to Great’, Jim Collins outlines the traits of Level 5 leaders – the best leaders in organizations. These leaders’ ultimate ambition is not to be indispensable – but to leave behind something that is.

Are you creating the structures and systems that allow people to excel in your absence – but be equally happy when you are around?