In a recent Q&A session, someone asked how to reduce stress. When asked, they explained that stress for them was all about overthinking. Overthinking created self-doubt and worry.

When asked if they tended to overthink, most people in the wider audience raised their hands. This aligns with research showing that many younger adults report thinking too much – and though the proportion reduces with age, even well into their fifties, most people report overthinking.

The Cycle of Doom

Overthinking often creates a loop effect:

1. High standards: I need to do this very well
2. Fear of falling short: What if I do not meet expectations
3. Overthinking: Endless analysis leading to delays and rumination
4. Procrastination or paralysis: There is too much to get right, so I will start later
5. Shame or self-criticism: I should have done better

This loop is frequently driven by hidden perfectionism, the sense that anything less than ideal is unacceptable.

Before you can handle overthinking, you must first notice it happening.

What Are the Signals?

Six Seconds, the global leaders in EQ research, use a simple Think – Feel – Act model:

• What are you thinking?
• What are you feeling?
• What are you doing?

Do you notice the unhelpful thoughts first? Or do physical sensations show up before the thoughts – perhaps a heavy chest, a tightening in the stomach, an elevated heart rate?

What are you feeling? Maybe overwhelm, confusion, annoyance?

What do you do when overthinking takes hold? Nothing but think? Or do you stare at a blank page, scroll aimlessly, bite your nails, or turn to organizing and reorganizing without making any progress?

Once you recognize where you are, you can then look for the data in what you are thinking and feeling. But the the first step is to pause and notice.

When I catch myself in a loop, I use something I call the washing machine technique.

The Washing Machine Technique

I imagine my mind as a washing machine spinning round and round, and my thoughts are the clothes inside.

Step one: Notice the spin.

Acknowledge that your mind is circling the same thoughts repeatedly.

Step two: Hit stop.

Pause intentionally. A physical gesture helps – maybe press a finger firmly on the table or your palm.

Step three: Take the thoughts out one by one.

Imagine removing each item of clothing, shaking it out and hanging it up. Each item represents a single thought you write down or bring clearly into awareness.

Step four: Examine each thought.

Ask:

• What is the evidence for this?
• How would someone who values me frame this thought?
• Am I repeating the same thought in different forms?

Writing the thoughts down can be especially powerful. It takes them out of the mind — the washing machine — and onto the line where they can be seen clearly.

The Cycle of Release

Next, choose one thought to work with — ideally the loudest or the one that repeats most often. Explore what it is truly signalling.

1. Set realistic standards. Is your version of perfection required in this situation?
2. View falling short as information. Trust that you gain insight whenever things do not go exactly to plan, and you can adjust or pivot.
3. Focus on one thought at a time. Can you avoid trying to fix everything at once? What are you feeling about that thought? What does that tell you?
4. Weigh pros and cons. Consider the costs and benefits of the thought and the objective evidence behind it. Can you step back when you notice unproductive what-if spirals – and ask yourself, how true is this?
5. Take a small step. Move forward based on what you have learned, however small the action. To do that, can change your thought, what you’re feeling, or what you’re doing? Changing just one helps shift the others.

Hang Overthinking Out to Dry

This process sounds simple, but like any behavioural change, it requires conscious practice. Catch the thoughts spinning. Pause. Take them out one by one. Examine the evidence.

With practice, the cycle becomes quicker and more natural. Eventually, you learn to recognise overthinking early and address it before it takes over.